My Ona Pet Zero Catgirl Starter Hole

KONNICHIWA, FAPPERS AND KOUHAIS!!
Call me Otaku Apologist, the master of monkey spanking, a Hentai King in the making. Pet Zero is the latest ride for my medium-sized uncircumsized snowflake king's rod. I have stroked my cock daily since I was 12 years old, 2-4 times a day. When I say a toy is good, it's good, and this catgirl cum dumpster is pure value.
I am a shameless shill for my buddies at J-LIST. I am their BEST affiliate marketer, marking ~90% of their affiliate transactions!
I got this babe from J-LIST for the price of $12.00. For a second opinion, consult my uncorrupt friends at Onahole.eu.

Like all bitches, Pet Zero lies through her teeth. She smiles like an untouched virgin, but underneath her rehearsed mask, lurks a cock-curious beast. Like a cheap AIDS-sick whore, this catgirl packs her ass in two sizes too small school girl dress. She needs the money to afford HIV-meds for her litter, thus she will suki suki you for twelve dolla. Ready for action, Pet Zero has under her skirt a bottle of lube, good for 5 rides!

For Alexander Hamilton's dong, mother catgirl spreads her dripping-wet cunt, without complaint. Her experienced slit is a straight-forward tunnel. She doesn't fight it; you can ram her to the bottom without issue. Her small body is carved for an easy grip. You can fuck her as fast, or as intently as you want; she'll take your whole length. Press her, apply pressure on your shaft through the pink skin, let her milk empty the insides of your low-hanging balls.
Because my penis suffers from a mild case of erectile dysfunction, I have to be rough with my toys to get anything out. That is why I appreciate this type simple no-bullshit texture. Better to burn out than fade away.

After creaming deeply, as you notice her no longer breathing, flip her inside out. Like the classic Tenga 3D sleeves, Pet Zero can be cleaned with ease and without bullshit. Pour water on her intestines and wash out the evidence, dry with a towel.
Sadly, ona pets are often born with tight inner structures that are prime soil for mold. That is why catgirls like Pet Zero are my favorite; be thorough, and there is a 0% chance that any lube, cum, or moisture is left for forensics. A well-maintained pet can be played with for months... or years. Click that button, by the way.


FINAL VERDICT
For her price, Pet Zero is one fine-ass cumslut. Despite her cheapness, she milked my loads obediently, giving me not a hint of back-talk. After six fucks with her, I went to the doctor and tested for HIV. The tests came out today.

Ubu Virgin Onahole

Konnichiwa, kouhais! I am the unapologetic apologist of all things hentai. I don´t fight for anyone, I don´t do this for the sake of anyone, I´m simply striding forward on this sloppy path of orgasms.
When the madness of this world is bringing my piss to a boil, I sedate my madness with masturbation!

Lately, I´ve battled with erection problems caused by my extreme desensitization. To fix my fleshy egg-fertilizer, I got me a slutty pocket virgin. Her name? Ubu Virgin!

PACKAGING

This virgin girl has her eyes set on cock. She´s robbed her mom´s fuckdoll dress, now standing in front of you, gazing eagerly at your crotch where your pole rises to full mast. Blushing, moist, and thoroughly in heat, this virgin is ready to lose it.

Seeing you brush aside your tent, her eyes widen at the sight of the twitching mushroom head peeking at her. The unforgettable moment of tasting her first dick is here, her mouth and little snatch moisten. She begins taking off her nightgown. Her determination to monopolize your semen glows on her face.

Ubu Virgin comes with a sample of lube. Right off the pack, she´s wet and ready!

PRODUCT

Her skin smells mildly sugary, like it´s sprinkled with a caramel coating. It feels durable, and I´ve found it easy to clean due to the wide opening. How it looks is like a goo alien's bone. But does it hold your boner?

FEELING

For a virgin, her pussy lips are suspiciously wide open. How much does she masturbate? Entering her is easy, but leaving her is another matter. She doesn´t wanna give you up, never gonna let you go. The internal bumps that simulate vaginal  muscles are like the backside of a bath sponge. The friction is intense, and while she´s eager to take you in, connecting with her balls deep takes force. She fights back, pushing you out, like needing to breathe. She clings to her virginal first experience, like a drowning girl in a swimming school. Hungry for sex, but so overwhelmed; like a true virgin.

CLEANING

Cleaning after your crime is easy. The internal structure and design of the entrance are perfect for a 3-minute wash. If you´re living with other people, a toy that´s fast to clean makes sneaking in and out of the bathroom a clandestine operation. No evidence, no wittness, no case that would hold. See availability at JLIST.

Futanari Musume Double Hole

Konnichiwa, kouhais! Otaku Apologist is my name, social media my game. My liberal therapist told me I have a chronic case of internalized homophobia. His suggestion for a cure was suicide, but I figured I would try something else!

Behold! The cure to homophobia; the hermaphrodite onahole! Futanari Musume Double Hole!

PACKAGING

This girl ain´t some innocent virgin. Her blue summer dress cannot contain her girly curves and throbbing fat cock. The most popular girl in her class, her long pole and moist lips have seen plenty of touch and feel.

This girl arrives to the party carrying the standard little pack of lube, good for two shoots of home porn.

PRODUCT

The material is pleasantly soft and stretchy; it feels like the same cookie-cutter silicon as Nekomimi Maonyan and Ubu Virgin. It´s realistic enough to trick your brain into thinking it´s actual flesh. The biggest difference to standard masturbation toys of this type is the addition of the meat stick and stones.

The pictures in the pack lead you to believe she´s a dual hole cum dumpster. However, from what I tested, the urethra is not big enough for penetration. Sadly, my fat dick lacks the spear-like sharpness required for urethra intercourse. Sad face. :-/

FEELING

This mature cum pocket has no trouble accepting the full brunt of a cock assaulting her vaginal canal. Her entrance is easy to pierce, and as she takes you, squeezes you, there´s no denying her experience.  This is no virginal pussy, like Ubu Virgin - this is a woman's pussy. Her plushy corridor gives but token resistance as she seals you in stroke after stroke. As you sex her up, her little dick flops up and down on your belly. You can play with it, just like her plentiful breasts.
My six rides with her were near identical in terms of duration and... well, hunger for cum. I expected nothing less from a perpetually horny futanari.

CLEANING

A girl like her, with an active cock and a pussy, is simply destined to develop a fetish for hot spunk. She doesn´t like to get clean, she feels entitled to the sperm. Her advantage is that she´s a little looser than a virgin mimic, allowing for smooth finger-fucking. Pour water in her, then use a glove to scoop out the moist.
Futanari Musume is not a double hole, the dick only makes for a sexy visual. Check J-LIST for availability.

Gichi Gichi Tight Virgin Onahole

Kouhais, cuckolds; konnichiwa.
I am The Apologist, the invisible hand manipulating the hentai scene from the shadows. I am a professional hentai blogger, a hustler, the admin of VGhustler, and the most prolific affiliate marketer for my friends at J-LIST.

Recently I got a girlfriend from overseas. In our Skype masturbation sessions, audio is important. She enjoys rocking her clit to the sound of my onaholes. According to her, it's the same sound that her throat makes when she sucks cock. My newest onahole is my girlfriend's favorite, 'cause it's the loudest.
WELCOME, to the Otaku Apologist review of Gichi Gichi Tight Virgin Onahole!

PACKAGING

Her throat is dry, her feelings bottled up. A brave girl, she hides her fear well. The naked man rod in front of her, her resolve is shaking, but she's not letting it show. She tells herself "mother needs the money". Good girl, young and dick-deprived, her hymen is intact. She tries to imagine the protruding flesh hose belongs to her crush at school.
What she doesn't yet realize is, her career as a whore was set at birth; She was born with a super power.

A young girl, with no imagination for sex, is a dry frigid bitch. Hence, her mother gave her lube.

PRODUCT

The material is soft, but perhaps not so stretchy. Compared with other holes my dick has reviewed, like Nekomimi Maonyan, which was like jelly, Gichi Gichi Virgin feels more flesh-like. That's the point; tricking your genitals so they think it's a real cunt. The gimmick here, her latent talent, is her two-part inner structure.
Gichi Gichi Virgin's mutant power is a regenerating hymen. Call the X-men.

FEELING

Her girl slit is suspiciously wide. Is she REALLY a virgin? Poking deeper, your cock tip hits something. It's soft, but annoyingly obstinate. While her little lips caress the shaft part lovingly, her deeper cavern gives you shit. What a bitch! Put more strength to it; penetrate, PENETRATE, PENETRATE. You're in. Oh!
Your battering ram is the first war machine to invade her sacred shrine. Plow her, plunder the loot. As you pull out the troops, the wall mysteriously builds itself back. Oh! Fuck this whore, go again!
And your cock misses, showing a sorry bulge at her stomach. You hit again; another bulge. Fucking hell, DIE BITCH DIE, FUCKING TAKE THE COCK AND CRY - and you're in again.
With Gichi Gichi Virgin, it's a cyclical battle of the ages. Like the Empire, she always builds another Death Star. And it's always so satisfying to make that great one-in-a-million shot, kid.
The feeling on the cock is not that pleasurable. If you want a stroker, there are better holes for it. But if you enjoy it when a cunt fights back, and have a deflowering fetish, the Gichi Gichi Bitch is your whore.

CLEANING

Pour in water, flush out the white men. Check their privilege; They're dead. Cleaning the pussy grotto is easy, due to the wide opening. Stuff a towel in, eazy. The second floor of the dungeon takes a micro fiber glove - the ordinary towel is too thick. The area you unload your cum in, the deepest part, takes a thorough licking to get the fluids out. Get her cleaned up, her mother is on the door.

The Dagashi Kashi Onahole

 

The Dagashi Kashi onahole is branded after every newfag otaku’s favorite candy-ass cum dump bitch Hotaru Shidare. Branding pros can make any diarrhea pile look good with boobs and glitter, so the age-old question deserves asking; is this hoe hole better than your deathgrip fist pump?

Fuck yes. The Dagashi Fucking Kashi Onahole is the Vietnam of pussy cups; rush in young guns blazing, ram it balls deep and leave a horrid mess behind. What I like best about Shidare’s ripe soft cunt, is that she’s tiny, tight, and good to get a grip on. With no extraneous boobs or other awkward traits for unnecessary immersion-effect (who the fuck wants to rape a catgirl’s headless limbless torso?), it’s like your fingers turn into wet vagina lips.
Hotaru’s pussy is the smallest in my collection of shame and regret, and surprisingly quick to clean despite her tightness. Easy to hide. It’s just a package of pleasure, no gimmicks like Gichi Gichi Tight Virgin Onahole, which is only good for when I feel the sadistic urge to forcefully impregnate lolo virgins and keep rape culture alive and breathing.

(The Dagashi Kashi hole was provided for review by Papa Payne of JLIST)

Imagine your fist. Hotaru is about the same size, so your fingers entwine her completely with nothing left outside. You have perfect control of the pressure and can live life in the fast lane, or chillax, squeeze when you wanna simulate the girl squeezing her cunt muscles to satisfy her primal instinct to milk the boy cream out of your hotly loaded cock gun. Tight and thirsty; my type.

What I was surprised by, was the fat plentiful lube bottle that she carried with her upon arrival. Normally you get a bottle worth two-three shots, but Hotaru is the bitch that packs heat. I recommend Onatsuyu Female Nectar Lotion, that makes the cock-spot cavern sloppy easily a total of five minutes without a need of adding holy water for resurrection or more of said nectar.

As I already insiniuated, washing Hotaru doesn’t take equipment other than a functional water tap and fingers. Deep towel cleaning ain’t impossible either!
If you’re a mad fag that likes licking up their cock treat after fapz, get some edible flavored lube to go with, and practice getting used to the taste for your homosexual lifestyle of sin. I didn’t try it with Hotaru, but her cavity’s small enough that getting the full batch lapped up should be no trouble.
Summary: Tight but not the tightest, small cavity, fit for medium-sized pricks, no grimmicks, gets an A+ for overall spot-on design.

Cute Hips DX Dual-Type Onahole

Meat is murder, and Cute Hips DX by A-One Tokyo is the killer of boners. Weighing 1.1 kilograms, this grotesque slab of rubber is a so-called dual hole; this bitch got a pussy, an asshole, and a free-of-charge jizz exit-hole!

Welcome, cucks and fappers, to Otaku Apologist's review of Cute Hips DX Dual-Type Onahole!

Before I bash this bitch beef like she deserves to, I have to remind my dear cucked readers, that my dick is experiencing as of late, an identity crisis. Where before I could never raise a boner to normalfag porn, making hentai my only source of fap stimulus, these days, I cannot fap to hentai either. I'm essentially a fucking eunuch!
Yeah, I got something wrong with my dick... makes this job a little more painful than it should... but fock it!!

The Cute Hips DX rocks two decently designed pleasure holes. I prefer the ass bit, due to its tightness. Where normie holes are easy to wrap your sausage fingers around, this whore hump is large as a prepubescent cum dump's ass, and cut from the bottom. It is as off-putting an experience as you can imagine. The feeling in both ero-caverns is ultra standard, nothing surprising or gimmicky or even interesting.

The texture is soft enough to grab on to, but jerking it up and down on your cock, is the epitome of awkwardness. The ass-portion is nice and spankable, but how the hell do you immerse yourself in a fantasy, when the thing is designed like a set piece in a John Carpenter movie? I imagine splurging it in fake blood, then raping it hard, will satisfy the urges of the more fucked up faplords. I feel guilty for every package of Cute Hips DX I've sold over the months blogging and meming about it.
Why did I do it..? (For the mon€y)


The grossest part about the toy is the third hole, the exit-hole, where your cock peeks out during a fuck. While it makes sense from a convenience point of view, because you need to wash your dick cheese post-orgasm, you have to premeditate where you're gonna cum. The cum will shoot out of the exit-hole, lest you plug it somehow. It's a very lovecraftian experience.

The package is a mad seller; a fine young kawaii set of buttocks, freely available for cum dumping at will. It's shiny, inviting, this shit is sold with the package, so check it, stare at it, be mezmerized by the enthralling beauty of a woman's fake arse. Yeah, yeah. Get sexy onahole lubricant to go with it, Onatsuyu Female Nectar Lotion is my whole-hearted recommendation.

That's my buddy, Peter of House Payne. He provided this rubber horror for me for review, so I could sell the crap out of it. Oh, when washing it, put the slab under da tab and let your crimes abolish themselves in the courts of Haag-two-O. Finger fuck and towel, use a micro fiber glove for maximum purification. BUY IT NOW!!!